Friendship

It comes in many flavors

a newly-met colleague shares information, a story, a laugh, encouragement
a former workmate gets in touch just to catch up
a brother calls
a former boss continues to mentor and challenge
a whole cheer squad of crafty folks challenge and critique
a stranger offers kindly help
a business associate opens their home, shares their passion
an accidental travel companion enlivens a dull journey
an old acquaintance supports my cause
@[anyone] shares advice
a family invite me to be part of raising their children
... and many more

There's a lot of friendship around.  Cheers, pals!

Saying "Yes!"

This week I am dusting off and reusing a strategy that has served me well in the past.

It's the YES model. Here's why:

My permanent, serious mental health condition has had a lot of influence on my life. I take it seriously, and have learned a lot about managing my condition and reducing its impact on me, and on the people around me. This is very good, but it's all too easy for diligence in self-care to become fear-driven obsessiveness.  I find myself in a pattern of conscientiously saying "No" to risks and challenges.

It sounds responsible, but when overdone becomes a way of hiding from the world, of opting out from development and accountability. Living small.

The YES model means saying YES! to every opportunity that comes my way. Taking risks, trying things out, committing to new actions.  It also means deliberately assessing new things first in the light of their benefits (maybe look at risks later) and in general having a lot more fun.

It sounds a little scary, but so far I have not been offered anything that would do me any actual harm. Most things don't. Here are a few I can share:

• swapped a seat with a stranger on a plane (karma points)
• made a date with a stranger (great conversation)
• tasted something extremely spicy (yum!)
• tasted something weird of unknown composition (so-so but now I know)
• went to a sports game in a foreign city (fun)
• shared a cigarette with a new colleague (1 won't kill me)
• tasted wine (negotiated self-imposed alcohol ban)

The downside to the YES strategy is that I get very busy, and sometimes a little tired. Moderation returns in time, and I have a more sunny and relaxed disposition and some new stories. Rinse and repeat.

Lessons of distance and duration

You can go a long way to get to home truths

One of the great things about travel is its ability to reveal new information - about the destination, the process, the people. In the slightly uncertain number of hours since I left Auckland on Wednesday, June 25th, I've come 9,841miles (16,481 km) and revealed at least three things about myself:

Revelation 1: I am much calmer and more tolerant than expected - where the object is a stranger, officialese, weather, geography, animals and even children. This is happy discovery

Revelation 2: the reverse applies to close associates, where I find myself to be excessively judgemental. and irritable. This is not so happy, and I need to work on it. Still cogitating on the approach. Suggestions welcome! Especially from associates.

Revelation 3: probably a cause of R2 above, my management of my Bipolar II disorder is not quite as effective as I would like. Or perhaps the travel experience has specific challenges. It's been rather unpleasant at times. However, I have managed it well enough to not be disabled, which is pleasing. Maybe I was a little overconfident.

Maybe these are not news to you, dear reader, but revelations to the humble writer.

What have you learned while traveling? How have your travel experiences revealed you to yourself?

Convenience - a little rant

What's the famous quote, about something being a good servant but a poor master?

Maybe it applies to everything. It certainly does to the idea of "convenience"

I have watched people, myself included, become so focused on our our entitlement to having things suit us and be easy, that we give second place to our compassion, our sense of perspective, our humility and our dignity.

I would never suggest that anything be made more difficult than necessary, but really people, how easy and 'catered-to' do we need to be? Especially if we want to think of ourselves as independent, healthy, intelligent adults? 

A couple of days ago I heard an obviously well-educated, prosperous man in his 50s berate a ferry ticket clerk for 10 minutes, because a boarding gate change meant he lost his place in the queue and he would have to wait what turned out to be 2 minutes longer.

Today's example was worse - on hearing of the plane crash in San Francisco (2 dead, 60+ injured, many rescue workers' lives endangered) all that one of my companions could think of was that her neighbor, flying out of SFO, might be delayed and have to wait around in the terminal.

What's this all about?

 Today's convenience phenomenon is largely created by the retail industry, especially fast food.  It is a marketing mindshift designed to make people more likely to purchase products, particularly the kinds of foods we are all coming to realise are not in our own best interests. You can't read the whole article, but take a look at this precis and think. Do a Google image search for the word "convenience" like I did, and see what images are associated.

Think about whether "convenience" has a higher value to you than compassion, perspective, independence, humility, dignity.

Here endeth etc. etc.

After all the talk...

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....enjoy the silence


This moment of silence is brought to you by one very tired and time-disoriented woman, and a nice little laptop. Thankyou for your support.

Last post

This is my last post of the "Blog every day in June" challenge.

The challenge is over and done for many other participants, but I've ended up in a late time zone - into extra time.  I may have lost  day in transit, but most days I have managed to post something before going to bed - even if that has been technically the next day.

This is the first time I have been able to complete the challenge, let alone enjoy it all the way through. I even have some draft posts in reserve! Capturing ideas in draft and building a bank of content for future posts has made the difference this time. I tend to create 'from scratch' - it's been a revelation to discover how much easier the "drafts bank" method is, especially when short of time, energy or inspiration.  I'm pondering where I can use this method in other parts of my life.

Thanks to whoever suggested it, @flexnib for making The List, and all the other participants for sharing. I believe it's become a habit, and those drafts want to see the light of day.